my sanctuary

my thoughts for my own reflection.

What? January 31, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 5:33 am

What the hell happened to the simplicity of life? What happened to simple instructions on downloading new templates for my blog? What in the world is an FTP can somebody bloody tell me? Don’t people communicate in simple English in this virtual world anymore? Why, why hadn’t I concentrated in Mr. Ravi’s class? If I had I wouldn’t be at wit’s end trying to decipher this now. Why is it that I’m wide awake at 5.30 in the morning? Where the hell are my sleeping pills?!(Do I have any in the first place?) Somebody get me some! Aaaaaaaaaaa!


A note of Thanks January 30, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 2:05 am

Dear 68ers of Beechfield Road,

Hello dance mat teachers! Aren’t u girls my favourite teachers ever?! Yeap, yeap u girls definitely are. Thank you for having me over the weekend! My feet is/are (I have no idea) definitely itching for more of those jumping-up-and-down-squealing sessions. Thank you for initiating the craze Headmistress Dina. Actually no, coz now i’ve actually got to find a way to get my own ps2 and a tv set. Grrr. Thanks too for cooking such a lovely dinner and for the lesson on how to cook a fork lickin good kuey teow! To the Assistant Headmistress Aida, my thanks for all your support during the lessons and for being the ever willing contestant to compete with this amateur. Hehe. And of course, for the hassle of picking me up at Victoria stn (i really didn’t expect to see u there!) and for lending one side of your bed to me for two whole nights. Argghhh, what would i do without u? Hehe, drama drama. To the newly appointed teachers, Ms. Baby and Ms. Mimi(on MC, hope u’re getting better!) thank you for pushing me get through the first steps! I swear it was like learning how to walk. I stumble, I give up, I get up again, and I squeal! Bottom line, my stay over the weekend couldn’t have been any better than that. And i feel so bad for not getting anything for the house. Oh well, that just means that I’ll have to pay no. 68 another visit the next time yea?(I am not self-inviting myself, Aida did say “Do come again JId!”). Haha. So yeah, thank you and sorry if you girls had to put away your uni work during my stay.



Loving you January 26, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 5:11 pm


How I can have so much love for these midgets who are probably going to grow up hating me anyway is beyond me. That’s the latest photo of them that I have (during raya in our ‘kampung’ house in Muar). Kudos to my sister who emailed them to me. My family is not so much of the sentimental type. Therefore e-mailing pictures is a big thing to me. 🙂
Why do I say hate? Not to that extreme I suppose. They might dread seeing me when they’re older even though now they squeal at the mention of my name (haha, siapa kata Jid?). Isn’t that natural? I can so see them avoiding me when they reach that rebellious teenage stage. How long ago was that for me? 6-7 years already?! God, I feel so old! I know that’s going to happen because that was how I treated my aunts when I was a teenager. Although the circumstances are different seeing that my aunts are just about a coupla years older/younger than my mum, whereas I myself am nowhere near my sisters’ age (twins) but considering my penchant for nagging, I think I’ll go through the same fate. As cik kinut mentioned in her blog; it’s karma.(I can’t bloody comment on your blog!!)

So it’s good that I’ve put down on ‘paper’ that I love them, so that I could print this and show it to them when they’re at that stage. But then, they won’t be as cute and adorable as they are now when they reach that hate-Acu stage will they? So never mind. I’ll survive being disliked by a bunch of pimpled-face, instable hormones, rebellious striplings. Coz that feeling will be mutual! Hahaha. This is what you get from a spoiled aunt, my little darlings. So please don’t stop liking me! I’ll hate u back.

But still, I love them to pieces right this moment.

The cheeky one who pranked me on her need to pee is the first one from the left. Najla Farisha, u can count on her to do housework. She once asked my maid whether she could help mop the floor. You don’t usually expect that from a 3-year old!

The one next to her is Khayrin Aniqah Khan. You’ll be amazed by her very soft, gentle, delicate, tender demeanour. She has the softest and the most heart-melting voice, I swear! Her name does mean “Yang lembut lagi something”. can’t remember!

The one in the pink shirt is my bickering partner, Sofia Aneesa. We bond by fighting! And she’s captured soo many of my guy friends’ hearts. Some of them have started counting at what age she will be when they are 40. OVER MY DEAD BODY!

The one in the blue shirt is Aniq Noah Khan. An animal lover. U hide his rhinoceros, he’ll become one I tell u. He has this macho exterior that he puts on in public and thinks that we don’t know that he’s actually very soft-hearted. The most thoughtful I must say, whenever I keel down faking that I’m sick he’ll come running asking whether I’m okay. Awwwwwwwwww, i know! And he’s so handsome to be a kid!
The last one in the the picture (two more are not in the photo). Aiman Haziq. A 20 year-old man trapped in an 8 year-old body. Why? He stays up to watch Chelsea games and memorises the names of the players by heart. I can leave him with Foy to have a really nice guy-chat and I’ll be ignored within seconds. He recognises cool cars on the road. Mind you, with the specs of the cars as well (wooo, M5 tu!). And to top it all, he plays golf every weekend with his dad, my brother. He’s impressed my bro’s friends I heard.

So there. I doubt that this will be of your interest. But to know me u have to know them because rest assured I’ll be mentioning them once in a while. Plus, I need hard evidence as a pre-emptive measure not to be hated! My two other nieces who are not being mentioned haven’t developed much character for me to describe them as they are still toddlers. So to my sisters and brother, do back me up when we’re older. And I’ll back u up when my kids start to hate u too. Hehe.

What did I say about writing short entries? hmmm…


Fish finger January 24, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 6:37 pm


So, this is how a cooked tip of a finger looks like eh? Yes, it’s my index finger. Just like you ordered; medium rare. How Jid? How could you have possibly…??? I know, even words fail you.
It was my first time making the creme caramel which I’ve been craving for since New Year. Since Lela said that she was coming, I thought it was the perfect time to make it. So Sherot came earlier to help me out. Halfway through making the caramelised sugar, in a trance-like motion (through Sherot’s view, haha I’m making this up) I dipped my finger into the pan of hot hot caramelised sugar. (I dipped my finger to get a taste of the caramel; to make sure that it didn’t taste burnt) Woii, ko nak mampus ke apa?!! The process of liquidising sugar without water obviously takes place at a very high temperature u fool. Solid to liquid. D’ohh!! My little finger didn’t even need to touch the bottom of the pan in order for it to get that albino look. So in the end, the helper became the master chef and a frozen bag of corn became my best friend (to help ease the pain by numbing the receptors). The creme caramel nevertheless turned out ok. It better did!!! I had to go get Lel from the train station carrying around a packet of frozen pitta bread. I wanted to stick with the bag of frozen corn but I decided that it wasn’t the best fashion accessory. Pitta bread is so much more fashionable anyway. Heh.

This cutie pie came on Sunday. The three of us laughed so much that night reminiscing our memories in good old Seri Puteri. A lot had to do with us getting caught breaking the school rules. Sherot who was once the school prefect obviously couldn’t contribute to our tale of lame reasons to the wardens . Haha.

Lela, lela. I’d forgotten how much fun we used to have together back in school coz we never hang out together properly nowadays kan? U know what she said to me on Monday morning? She woke me up and said, “Jid, jid, bangun. Kan nak bawak aku gi tengok pantai.” (Wake up Jid, I wanna go see the beach). Mana la plak aku nak gi cari pasir utk ko Lel kat sini. Haha. We’ll go to Brighton one day okay Lela. To be fair, I know Lela had meant that she actually wanted to see the dock but couldn’t find the right word at that time. But that didn’t stop me from reminding her of her mistake the whole day. We had great fun ‘touring’ the city in spite of the fact that we didn’t have our photographer with us (foy’s having his exams now, therefore he’s forgiven). Not gonna upload photos here as I’ve done that on Friendster.
Since I’d been ridiculing Lela over her ‘beach’ mistake, Lela had silently swore vengeance on me. Before going she asked me to write down the creme caramel recipe and as I was writing it for her she casually said, “Oh Jid, don’t forget to include in the instructions that I should dip my finger into the pan while the sugar is dissolving. U know in case it gets burnt or something.” Hardy har har Lel!

How long is this entry already?? I really need to start writing short short entries from now on. Remind me that the next time.


Kids January 22, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 2:27 am

It’s amazing how after a big argument your feelings for that other person can change from one extreme to the other. And how easily you can patch things up after that. Just sleep it off and when you wake up, it’s just like nothing had happened. Apologies become voluntary and the world for once is at peace with you. So to the people who are already divided into halves out there, stock up on the sleeping pills okay. They will prove to be handy when the time comes, trust me.

Called my niece yesterday to wish her a happy birthday. She’s just turned 4 but I can tell you that she speaks like a 6-yr-old. And there’s always the heart-breaking question which she’s never failed to ask me everytime I call, “Bila Acu nak balik?” (when are u coming home?). Uwaaaaa! I miss that cheeky monkey and the rest of the gang as well.

With me, there’s always a story isn’t there? Sooo, what now? I became their driver over the last summer. I was driving my cheeky niece and my handsome nephew back from their kindergarten. And on our way home, the car started to get all funny you know, all whimpery and purring. The car was new so there was no way it could’ve been the engine, I thought. So I stopped the car along the side of the road to check the tyres. And surprise, surprise, the front wheel on the left looked as if it had gone through a tyre shredder or something. Sweat glands activated. Then, to my utter disbelief my darling of a niece rolled down the window and said timidly to me, “Acu, Najla nak kencing” (I need the loo). I know, I know. Breathe in breathe out. “Don’t panic, everything’s going to be alright. Especially when you don’t have your handphone with you!!!” Before you start cussing me for being so lok-lak (stupid),can I just say that it was my first week home. So I didn’t have my own phone then. Not knowing what to do and not wanting my niece to pee at the side of the road or in the car, I drove the car home with the flattest tyre you could ever imagine seeing.

I wished the windows were tinted!!! Honks were blaring at me to alert me on the flat tyre. “Thank you very much but don’t you think that I would be very much aware of that already?!! So Shut up!!” Fortunately we were only 5 minutes away from home from where we stopped. All the way I kept telling my niece like a madwoman to hold it in for me. “Tahan kay Najla, please, tahan tau”. Gile kesian budak tu.

So, we reached home at last. A very embarassing journey I must say. The kids ran inside and I stayed outside to check on the rim. Thanked the Almighty for saving the rim and when I went inside I saw the very Najla who so wanted to pee playing merrily with her cousins ( I didn’t stay outside for long). “Najla, dah pergi toilet?”(have u been to the loo?) “oh, tak payah dah” (Nah, it’s ok don’t need it anymore).

I give you the liberty to draw your own conclusions. I have nothing to say except : Go learn how to jack a car and how to change the wheels.


Serious stuff January 21, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 3:11 am

The Jews are our enemies, am I right? That’s what I’ve been told all this while. I’m not so sure whether the people who have told me such things actually knew what they were talking about. Because I have just discovered that there are great differences between the Jews, Judaism, and the Zionists. And to mix them up all together and to treat them as a single entity is, I must say, a very broad generalisation. And I absolutely hate generalisations! Why do u think that most people in this world perceive us Muslims as terrorists? It is because of this very narrow minded way of thinking. It is because they are ignorant to the precepts of Islam. Don’t mind them, what about us? We’re doing the exact same thing to the Jews. I’m not saying that we should all be more sympathethic towards the very race which is trying to disrupt us. It’s just that it bothers me that our hostilities aren’t supported with valid reasons. Are we even supposed to be hostile at all? I’m not sure myself as my knowledge is very limited. To make it worse, it’s been shadowed by vague explanations of why we should “hate” the Jews.
The very people whom we should be careful of are the Zionists. Not all Jews are Zionists. Zionism is an ideology. Judaism is the religion of the Jews. Jew is the race. You tell me what religion preaches its followers to look down on other human beings as “two-legged animals” and therefore not fit to inhabit the world? None comes to mind am I right? Even the rabid Jews are against this very ideology. The massacres of the Palestinians and the tortures brought onto them are the works of the Zionists. They are the conniving bastards. Not all Jews come under this category. Eventhough the Torah had been desecrated by the works of the Jewish forefathers, it still preaches peace and harmony and does not legitimise the killings of innocent lives (I’ve been told the opposite before).
That’s why it struck me odd when some people say that the Jews were born to be evil. What?!! Oh yes, I’ve heard this so many times before and it just doesn’t make sense. I myself have once used this theory to explain it to my mum why the Jews are thought to be so evil. And poor mum went “oooohhh, macam tu ye”.

All this is what I surmise from a video in Harun Yahya’s website which my football trainer found after spending so much time in his room due to his leg injury. See, a blessing in disguise. 🙂 The video breaks my heart. It shows all the happenings the Palestinians went through during the wars. The video is quite graphical,so if you don’t have a strong stomache just listen to it. There are so many other interesting videos on the website; there’s this one on the end of time and another one on the secret behind matter (very mind boggling though). The videos have made me realise why we were born into this world after all. This world is just like a tree in a long journey to another place. We stop and rest for a little bit under the tree and then we go on. Do you see just how short it is?

Having said that, I have to say that I am not very knowledgable in this area. I’m far from being knowlegable. So don’t judge me as someone who is trying to show of her godliness for I’m not. You know how things like this can sound so poyo and everything. I’m just passing on what I think people should know(if you don’t know about it already that is). And do correct me if i’m wrong on any of the things I’ve written. Harun Yahya’s website is worth your time and God bless him for such an amazing work!


“It’s a sodding cocktail!” January 19, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 9:14 pm

“Coffee in, effort out. Now repeat!” That was me yesterday on MSN. Today it’s “Money in, worries out!”. Alhamdulillah my bank account is as of this moment recovering from a severe thrombosis. Thrombosis due to a money clot at the cash point machine. Yes, it was so bad that it got to the point where my debit card was just as good as another piece of cardboard. So,what’s a girl to do? A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. And that is, use her credit card instead! Bertuah punya budak. Haha. Now I’m okay. And I hope I’ll stay that way in three months to come. Amin.

My life’s regaining its colours, now that essays and tutorials are out of the way. For the next two weeks when my fellow University mates will be sitting for their exams, I’ll be cruising in and out of the lecture halls merely attending career programmes which to my relief do not require any preparations whatsoever. So basically I’m quite the lucky bitch here. Haha. Anyone fancy a trip to Soton? Let me know okayy! Lela is coming this weekend insyaAllah. So yay!

My YM sessions with my football trainer have become more and more…I don’t know, educational? motivational? Whenever he says stuff like “Can I pull this off?” or “I’m scared”, I’ll go “The best way to predict the future is to invent it -Alan Kay-“. Or “If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you can’t solve it, then what is the use of worrying?-Shantideva-”

Yeah, kinda in a quote craze. Have to be supportive la right? And whaddaya know. The table’s turned now. I buzzed him saying, “Should I make coffee and finish the cases or should I sleep early and wake up early tomorrow and do it?”. And guess what he said?

Foy : “Procrastination is the thief of time.”

Whoaaaaaa. Somebody has learned to find his own quotes! Haha. Another one.
Jid : Malasnyee. (Sarah : I’m so lazy)

Foy : “Success is often hardwork rather than talent.”

Ehcece. Dah lawan tauke nampak.(he’s beaten me)

Despite the exam fever, my flatmate Sarah is still having a good time. Yesterday she went out to this pub quiz and in the middle of the quiz she received a text from her ex-boyfriend. The whole thing is so funny. I’ll just copy and paste our conversation on MSN.

Wait, how do u do that? I can’t seem to paste it. Oh, sod it. I’ll type it out. See, the extent I would go for you people. 😛

Here goes,

“omg – alex text me earlier asking me what i was up to and i had this cocktail called “sex on the sofa” so i said i was having sex on the sofa and he text back saying “are u kidding me?” and i said “well i’m not now but i was earlier. I’ve finished now.” and he thought i was actually texting him i was having it. I text him back saying “it’s a sodding cocktail – do u really think i’d be doing that in the middle of a pub quiz? and he didn’t” LOL!!!
You see, you see what men are like? What did your mum tell you? Only the truth!!

Next time Sarah, save the man from an early heart attack will ya?


Aesop January 18, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 9:31 pm

It’s been quite a few days of lacklustre life. The fact that I had to spool my mind two years back to that conversation in order to write a decent entry shows just how dull the days have been for me. The only thing that cheers me up is reading YOUR comments on my entries. How sad is that? Oh come on, be honest. I’m sure you people feel the same way when other people show their interest and care towards you. People call it human nature dah-link. So let’s not try to act all aloof and cool over the fact that you enjoy people’s attention on you. It’s ok to feel that way …
Only don’t go overboard with it. Enjoying attention is one thing. Conceit is a whole different matter. I have come across people who think that the world actually revolves around them. I was one of them when I was younger; before I realised the truth. Honey, the universe is huge. What EVER makes you think that you’re the center of it? Ehem, I’m not being bitter here. I’m just reflecting on myself, and if possible to get you to join me too (of course, reflect on yourself not me!hehe.) since you’re already wasting your time reading this instead of reading your lecture notes, so why not? 🙂
This feeling of conceit (or we Malay ppl call it ‘perasan’ness) will only make us become very self-absorbed and self-involved with ourselves. Is this good? You tell me. Attention in the end becomes an addiction and when you’re in a position where you’re receiving none, whoaaaaa. Watch out! The resurrection of the 5 year-old you. Sour faces, feet stomping, and the works that get people annoyed to the core of their being. Especially when everybody else around you is having a good time. Why spoil their time? I apologise if I have done this to anyone of you, I know I have. Really.

I found this really interesting or rather inspirational quote yesterday. Didn’t I tell you how dull it’s been for me? Haha. Anyway, it’s by Aesop. Aesop Fables? Yes, him.

“The smaller the mind the greater the conceit”. So there you go.

Hmmm, so this is what boredom does to you eh? Please, please bear in mind that this entry is not personal. It’s not personal to you or anyone. So, wanna save me from writing more emotional entries like this? Amuse me with your comments will ya? And hope that some luster will come back into my life. (i.e. for my allowance from PNB to come in like NOW!)

Night, night everyone.


U January 16, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 11:03 pm

A phone conversation some time two years ago…

Me : Yeh? Baru habis borak ngan your mum? Borak pasal apa?

Him : Haah. Borak pasal u.

Me : What? Really? U cakap apa?

Him : Biasa2 je. My mum kan, mesti excited gila bila cakap pasal u.

Me (blushing crimson) : Oh my God, I’m so flattered! Serious your mum excited cakap pasal I? Cakap la u cakap apa pasal I kat dia.

Him : Err…hmmmm…bila i cakap borak pasal u kan, i meant University. My mum excited cakap pasal my choices of uni. Sorry u.

Me (FLUSHING crimson red hot fire chilli pepper!!!) : Oh, okayyyyy. Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, malunye. Lain kali cakap la uni. Kan i dah perasan sorang2.

Him (chuckling, trying very hard not to laugh fearing the consequences of a very angry girlfriend) : Hmm…Sorry…[can’t recall what he said because I was drowned by my own voice screaming ‘stupid!stupid!stupidddd!’]…

Ambik kau! Lain kali korek telinga tu betul2. But it’s undeniable that women only want to hear the things that THEY want to hear. So forget the cotton buds. If a girl asks u whether she’s fat, do answer within a nano second that she’s NOT. If a girl asks u whether the other girl is prettier than she is, answer NO before she gets to finish the question. Tau! For more lessons, refer to Friends’ episode 304. To the girls, take me a as a lesson ok dearies. The embarassment, ayo…berbulan2! Make sure he’s really talking about YOU before you come to reach to any conclusion. Sekian.

P/S: Sarah, if u have read this far I congratulate you on your effort. Goes to show how much you love me. If you haven’t, then you’re just not loyal to me! ha ha. Sorry can’t translate the conversation my love, because Manglish (Malay+English) is the essence of the story.


Colour blindness January 15, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 3:33 pm

All the hype surrounding the Sunday futsal game was apparently not enough to actualy realise the game. We fortunately found out few hours before the supposed time that there weren’t enough people to play the game proper. There were only five of us in the end and the thought of the mighty big indoor court discouraged us from furthering our ambitions. Tak best la main 5 orang je kan? But no one could be blamed as exams are fast approaching and everyone’s had quite a busy weekend with the solat hajat and raya haji celebration yesterday, so we all deserve to stay in. No worries ok, there’ll always be a next time insyaAllah. 🙂
So right now as the quote goes, I am “Physically Phhhfffttt”. You know what I mean? Had quite a feast for breakfast; mushroom & cheese omelette, waffles, and peanut butter sandwich. And now I’m sitting on my bum not doing anything to burn those calories off. So yeah, I’m Phhhfffttt! (for the slow ones it’s pronounced like ‘Fit’, just add a lil breathlessness to it) Thanks Sher, Cik Kinut, and Ms. Ayu for feeding me! I’ve been deprived of proper meals for days already. I feel so whole again. haha. It was a very fun sleepover I must say filled with our staple activities; movies (gol & gincu), tv shows (Lost and Russel Peters comedy show which all of you must see because he’s just so downright funny!), gossips, and of course tea with custard cream biscuits. We also played a round of Twister for 10 minutes or so before succumbing to the tea and biscuits. Lazy ass-es!
Something funny happened when I was trying to get to sleep after having finished reading a case (ecewah, menunjuk tu sempat belajar kejap ;)). Sherot nudged me, “oh dah tido ke? takpe lah”. Irritated for being awakened just to hear that statement I barked, “woi, amende? Cakap la”.

Sherot : No, I was just thinking. Kalau ko bawak bola ko gi main kat padang mesti orang yang colour blind tak leh main kan?

Wakakakakakakakkkakakkaka. Lawak gila minah ni pukul 3 pagi fikir pasal benda2 macam ni. But it’s so true, because my ball is red and the field is green. And there are people who suffer from red-green colour blindness where they can’t really disitnguish between those two colours. Believe me I have a friend who is colour blind and according to him whenever there’s a game involving players wearing red jerseys, he could only see their ass-es and legs running around the field. hehehe. That’s just so cute don’t u think? I’ve told Sherot this story before, and it’s not surprising that the thought came back to her last night. Good thinking there girl!

So,if I really want to score a goal I really should be playing with colour blind people. wanna know more about colour blindness? Go to and just type colour blindness. Other than that, enjoy the russel peters show! A very good way to de-stress on a Sunday night. So laugh your socks off people! Adios!