my sanctuary

my thoughts for my own reflection.

Aesop January 18, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 9:31 pm

It’s been quite a few days of lacklustre life. The fact that I had to spool my mind two years back to that conversation in order to write a decent entry shows just how dull the days have been for me. The only thing that cheers me up is reading YOUR comments on my entries. How sad is that? Oh come on, be honest. I’m sure you people feel the same way when other people show their interest and care towards you. People call it human nature dah-link. So let’s not try to act all aloof and cool over the fact that you enjoy people’s attention on you. It’s ok to feel that way …
Only don’t go overboard with it. Enjoying attention is one thing. Conceit is a whole different matter. I have come across people who think that the world actually revolves around them. I was one of them when I was younger; before I realised the truth. Honey, the universe is huge. What EVER makes you think that you’re the center of it? Ehem, I’m not being bitter here. I’m just reflecting on myself, and if possible to get you to join me too (of course, reflect on yourself not me!hehe.) since you’re already wasting your time reading this instead of reading your lecture notes, so why not? 🙂
This feeling of conceit (or we Malay ppl call it ‘perasan’ness) will only make us become very self-absorbed and self-involved with ourselves. Is this good? You tell me. Attention in the end becomes an addiction and when you’re in a position where you’re receiving none, whoaaaaa. Watch out! The resurrection of the 5 year-old you. Sour faces, feet stomping, and the works that get people annoyed to the core of their being. Especially when everybody else around you is having a good time. Why spoil their time? I apologise if I have done this to anyone of you, I know I have. Really.

I found this really interesting or rather inspirational quote yesterday. Didn’t I tell you how dull it’s been for me? Haha. Anyway, it’s by Aesop. Aesop Fables? Yes, him.

“The smaller the mind the greater the conceit”. So there you go.

Hmmm, so this is what boredom does to you eh? Please, please bear in mind that this entry is not personal. It’s not personal to you or anyone. So, wanna save me from writing more emotional entries like this? Amuse me with your comments will ya? And hope that some luster will come back into my life. (i.e. for my allowance from PNB to come in like NOW!)

Night, night everyone.


U January 16, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 11:03 pm

A phone conversation some time two years ago…

Me : Yeh? Baru habis borak ngan your mum? Borak pasal apa?

Him : Haah. Borak pasal u.

Me : What? Really? U cakap apa?

Him : Biasa2 je. My mum kan, mesti excited gila bila cakap pasal u.

Me (blushing crimson) : Oh my God, I’m so flattered! Serious your mum excited cakap pasal I? Cakap la u cakap apa pasal I kat dia.

Him : Err…hmmmm…bila i cakap borak pasal u kan, i meant University. My mum excited cakap pasal my choices of uni. Sorry u.

Me (FLUSHING crimson red hot fire chilli pepper!!!) : Oh, okayyyyy. Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, malunye. Lain kali cakap la uni. Kan i dah perasan sorang2.

Him (chuckling, trying very hard not to laugh fearing the consequences of a very angry girlfriend) : Hmm…Sorry…[can’t recall what he said because I was drowned by my own voice screaming ‘stupid!stupid!stupidddd!’]…

Ambik kau! Lain kali korek telinga tu betul2. But it’s undeniable that women only want to hear the things that THEY want to hear. So forget the cotton buds. If a girl asks u whether she’s fat, do answer within a nano second that she’s NOT. If a girl asks u whether the other girl is prettier than she is, answer NO before she gets to finish the question. Tau! For more lessons, refer to Friends’ episode 304. To the girls, take me a as a lesson ok dearies. The embarassment, ayo…berbulan2! Make sure he’s really talking about YOU before you come to reach to any conclusion. Sekian.

P/S: Sarah, if u have read this far I congratulate you on your effort. Goes to show how much you love me. If you haven’t, then you’re just not loyal to me! ha ha. Sorry can’t translate the conversation my love, because Manglish (Malay+English) is the essence of the story.


Colour blindness January 15, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 3:33 pm

All the hype surrounding the Sunday futsal game was apparently not enough to actualy realise the game. We fortunately found out few hours before the supposed time that there weren’t enough people to play the game proper. There were only five of us in the end and the thought of the mighty big indoor court discouraged us from furthering our ambitions. Tak best la main 5 orang je kan? But no one could be blamed as exams are fast approaching and everyone’s had quite a busy weekend with the solat hajat and raya haji celebration yesterday, so we all deserve to stay in. No worries ok, there’ll always be a next time insyaAllah. 🙂
So right now as the quote goes, I am “Physically Phhhfffttt”. You know what I mean? Had quite a feast for breakfast; mushroom & cheese omelette, waffles, and peanut butter sandwich. And now I’m sitting on my bum not doing anything to burn those calories off. So yeah, I’m Phhhfffttt! (for the slow ones it’s pronounced like ‘Fit’, just add a lil breathlessness to it) Thanks Sher, Cik Kinut, and Ms. Ayu for feeding me! I’ve been deprived of proper meals for days already. I feel so whole again. haha. It was a very fun sleepover I must say filled with our staple activities; movies (gol & gincu), tv shows (Lost and Russel Peters comedy show which all of you must see because he’s just so downright funny!), gossips, and of course tea with custard cream biscuits. We also played a round of Twister for 10 minutes or so before succumbing to the tea and biscuits. Lazy ass-es!
Something funny happened when I was trying to get to sleep after having finished reading a case (ecewah, menunjuk tu sempat belajar kejap ;)). Sherot nudged me, “oh dah tido ke? takpe lah”. Irritated for being awakened just to hear that statement I barked, “woi, amende? Cakap la”.

Sherot : No, I was just thinking. Kalau ko bawak bola ko gi main kat padang mesti orang yang colour blind tak leh main kan?

Wakakakakakakakkkakakkaka. Lawak gila minah ni pukul 3 pagi fikir pasal benda2 macam ni. But it’s so true, because my ball is red and the field is green. And there are people who suffer from red-green colour blindness where they can’t really disitnguish between those two colours. Believe me I have a friend who is colour blind and according to him whenever there’s a game involving players wearing red jerseys, he could only see their ass-es and legs running around the field. hehehe. That’s just so cute don’t u think? I’ve told Sherot this story before, and it’s not surprising that the thought came back to her last night. Good thinking there girl!

So,if I really want to score a goal I really should be playing with colour blind people. wanna know more about colour blindness? Go to and just type colour blindness. Other than that, enjoy the russel peters show! A very good way to de-stress on a Sunday night. So laugh your socks off people! Adios!


Sunday weather January 13, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 6:20 pm

Due to threats of violence which i received yesterday after manifesting that I won’t be bringing the ball to the game, I now pronounce the ball fit for public use. The ownership shall nevertheless remain with me. I request demand that the torments on me be stopped right away or I shall report this appalling behaviour to the relevant authorities (i.e. my football trainer and my mommy). The identities of the tormentors shall not be disclosed for fear that their safety might be jeopardised by my loyal friends who feel the need to protect me right away. Nyahaha.
Another reason for the change of mind is the remark made by cik kinut (who i can reveal is one of the tormentors since her bodyguard form the States is here, so i presume she’ll be safe).
Quoting her, “tak fulfilled la life bola tu kalau tak disepak” (translation for Sarah : the ball’s needs won’t be fulfilled unless we kick it around). Being its loving owner I say we should give the ball the life it deserves.
Enough of the ball which is gaining so much popularity already. Today as I went out to catch my bus I was greeted by the Sunday weather. You know what a Sunday weather is? It’s my own connotation of the kind of weather which reminds me of the nice Sundays I’ve had over the years. You know when you go out on a Sunday morning to get nasi lemak(coconut rice with the spicy white fishies) or roti canai(the round breads I served u with sugar, u went crazy over them remember?) with your dad and stuff. It’s always bright and sunny on those kind of days, kan kan? And then you just laze around with your family, you reading the Pancaindera and your parents discussing the news. Of course it wasn’t sunny just now but the air was clean and the sky clear,no fogs to block your view and therefore enough to be my Sunday weather on a Friday . And i thought, “wah, it’s probably going to be a very nice day”.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!!! I was so hungry by the end of my lecture because I only ate a quarter of a bowl of porridge I made with unsweetened soya milk before I went out(in an effort to follow this detox diet cookbook, the porridge was disgusting beyond description ok). And so i thought today would be the best day to get those 60 pence greasy fat chips at this Chinese shop which I have been dreaming about. So I went marching with my tummy screaming “faster,faster!” only to be greeted by a “closed” sign on the door.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Geram tak terhingga!!!(no translation Sarah, sorry!) and as i turned away with disappointment (u don’t understand how disapponted i was) the bus that i was meant to get on passed by me. So i had to wait another 10 minutes for the next bus.

So you see, don’t expect too much out of a Sunday weather on a non-Sunday day. Now that my tummy’s half-filled, it’s easier for me to accept that it was not my day to get those chips. (translation for the Malays : takde rezeki daaa.)

I’m sure you people have your own Sunday weathers. Enjoy it when it’s there ok!


Having a ball! January 12, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 6:36 pm

U-know-who knocked on my door today and when I opened it, there he was holding a plate of chips and a bowl of ketchup. That brought a smile to my face. Someone at your door with food. Jolly good! And then he looked down self-consciously at himself like he’d forgotten to zip his pants or something. I looked down too not wanting to miss the opportunity. Haha! And guess what I saw?


To my delight, I saw this!!! Yes, it’s a ball. A red and shiny one. The prettiest one I’ve ever set my eyes on my entire life. Lebih2 plak. Heh.
It’s a present for me! It’s such a sweet gesture don’t u think? I know those people who know me personally are going, “What? Why the hell would Jid need that ball for?”. Yes, I admit full-heartedly that when it comes to sports I am as clueless and as dense as a donkey can be. I know tennis because of the cute players and I know football because of David Beckham. You dig me? This reminds me of Rachael in the episode where they played football (American of course) on thanksgiving.

Ross to Chandler in the huddle : You go left, right, bla bla bla ( bottom line:the strategy)

Rachael : Wait, what am i going to do? ( with the excitement of a 5-yr-old)

Ross : You…you go looonnnggg.

Rachael : Great! How Long?

Ross : Until we start to look small. ( Hilarious!)

That’s how people treat me too! Sob sob. To those who have played sports with me you know exactly what I’m talking about. Gggrrr.

I still haven’t answered the question have I? One of my dear friends has booked the sports hall at our uni so that the girls could play another round of futsal (sebut gol&gincu style ok; futSOL) together. We played once during the holiday and all I did during the game was scream, shout, laugh, and catch the ball with my hands (which I now know would have given the oppo team a free kick). I’m good now, jangan main2. Haha.

So I asked u-know-who to teach me play footie so that I could play better on Sunday. And that’s why he came today and presented me with my very own, very first, ball!
He taught me how to kick, how to dribble, how to defend the ball, and how to do a header. Sakit woo dahi! Rasa biol sekejap. But I’m still having a ball with it! I still can’t get hold of how to control the ball though. considering that we trained in my “very spacious” flat, I think I’ll just go screaming and laughing on Sunday. Well, we’ll see about that. And oh, to the futsal girls. NO, I am not bringing my ball to the game. It’s only for MY training. Nyetnyetnyetnyetnyet. 😛


Top tips January 11, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 10:19 pm

What makes a conversation interesting? This question has been bugging me all week because I have had to launch into small idle talks which in the end dissolved into uncomfortable silences numerous times this week. And I can tell you, nothing is more painful than that. You’d wish you were invinsible, man. If you had watched the episode in Friends where Chandler was left alone in the labor room with Ericka, you should know what I mean.

This kind of conversation is of course the one that you usually have with the people that you’re not close to. Adoi la, how I wish I could just shut up and pretend not to see them at the bus stops. But that would be rude, obviously. And I don’t want people to see me as a boring person, which I secretly think I am. Now it’s not a secret anymore. who bloody cares.

In an effort to improve this quality or rather lack of quality in me, I went to search for some tips which I find worth sharing with whoever’s reading this because I think most people have this problem too.

  1. Greet people warmly, make eye contact, and SMILE. Be the first to say hello, u might be viewed as a snob if u’re not the first to say hello. (but why would i want to be the first to say hello when I don’t even want to start a conversation with that tall guy with the curly hair! he’ll never find his way to this lil space, so it’s okay)
  2. Use the person’s name in the conversation. And never assume that your conversation partner has a nickname. For example, if I tell you that my name is Syahida I expect that I should be addressed as Syahida. NOT Syida, nor Syid (yes, I have had ppl calling me Shit before and oh boy, urut dada je la).
  3. Show an interest in others. D’ohh. If you’re not interested, then just forget about saying hello alright?
  4. Dig deeper. If you engage in a topic, don’t leave it too quickly. Of course, or else you would have to think of a better topic to talk about. So pick which one you’d rather do. Ask more questions on that particular topic. E.g. tgh cakap pasal pergi bercuti. Iyer? Seronok? Buat apa lagi? Mahal tak? Kalau i nak gi plak bleh la u tolong i. Senang tak nak dapat makanan halal? Dan sebagainya lah.
  5. Be a good listener. That means making eye contact and responding with verbal cues to show that you’re listening. NOT ‘huh, mmm’ and other monosyllables like that. Try ‘really, that’s cool/wicked (bg mat salleh wannabe)/,interesting, good for u’ etc.
  6. Body language. Nervous or ill-at-ease people make others uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even when you’re not. This for me is quite hard to do because I am no actor. I am as transparent as glass. Will have to work on that jido.

Banyak lagi sebenarnya but these are the more important ones. Tips taken from Debra Fine’s website with some adjustments of course. Goooood luck with it people!


The Kindergarten League January 2, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 4:21 pm

Today 3 of my nieces and one of my newphews are starting their days at their new kindergarten. Yup, all going to the same kindergarten. Two of them already started going to one a year ago but have now transferred to the new one where all four will be together. So anyway, my mum said the new one has a computer class, a cookery class, the works, and is therefore better suited for the kids. Ayo, dulu tak kisah pon what the tadika offers as long as you’re not home to bother people. As Sherot and I once ‘discussed’ dapat plasticine and pasir dah cukup bahagia ok.

Oh boy. am I new to blogging or what? I thought I had saved this as a draft when in fact it was published before I knew it. Nyahaha. Bodoh btol. Yes, i know. I am probably as IT illiterate as your grandma is for all i know. Haiiyak.

So yeah, what I just wrote earlier reminds me of a book I read a couple of months ago. The Ivy Chronicles by Karen Quinn. It’s about how kids at the age of 4 have to have  resumes in order to enter the top notch kindergatens (kg) in New York. Ivy league la konon. Hence, the title. Gilerr, like your kg records would have any bearing on your uni application in real life. According to the book of course those records are influential. Baca la, very funny and entertaining. It was book of the month or something when I read it.

Dunnow what my kids will have to go through nanti. Nyahaha. Dah fikir dah Jid?

All the best lah to my sisters and sis-in-law. I’m sure there were many sad teary eyes just now. But they should be alright as they have their cousins with them. The close-knit clan. It’s not enough that they were delivered by the same doctor. School also the same one. I’m so jealous I don’t have their childhood. With an auntie like me some more. (haha, My Blog I can write whatever I want!)

Enough already. Chow time people! Nyumm2.