I feel pregnant. Not that I’ve ever been to actually know what it’s like. But arrgghh, nothing is right. Everything puts me off. My appetite is unbelieavable. I’ve been grouchy for the most part of the day. Thank God I didn’t have company during those times, coz oh boy, I would have lost some friends there. When you’re in that mood and you’re alone. All you can do is dwell yourself in self-pity and then start counting on the calories that you’ve consumed for the day. That in the end will make you cry till your contact lenses go dry.
Crying for no reason. It seems to be the only thing that I’m good at nowadays. I told you, I don’t know why. So, don’t ask why! And why the hell am I professing my inward insecure feelings to the public nih? This is supposed to be personal am I right? Not my blog, these stupid feelings. What choice do I have when I’ve got no other outlet? Write it on paper? Hell yeah. I will end up scratching the table with my pencil till my ears go deaf. Vent it out on him? Great, more self-pity after he decides to leave this madwoman (not that I haven’t done enough already for him to do that). Call mama? Nak cakap apa woi kalau sendiri pon tak tahu apa sebab. Talk to my friends? Like they haven’t got enough problems in their hands for me to add to the list.
Is this even helping me? I guess, to a certain extent. I get to see that I’m actually exaggerating the stuff that are actually bugging me. The more I think about them, the bigger they get in my head. So stop thinking about it. See, in the end I get to the core of it; why is it that I’m so upset. There, there, slow down already.
Right, i’m gonna go get myself out of this state of whatever-ness. Don’t you dare judge me after reading this okay. We all have our moments. Haihhh, brain cramps AND tummy cramps. What else is new?