my sanctuary

my thoughts for my own reflection.

Pouring October 30, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 11:50 pm

OK, two posts within an hour and a half is new.  But really have to get this out of my system.  FAST.  Need to get some perspective on this. 

I chanced upon Mimi’s blog some time ago and reading it  has always left me feeling somewhat inadequate.  I haven’t been to her site for quite awhile.  So, i thought i’d give it a visit.  That feeling of inadequacy was reinforced just now.  I feel this small(I’m holding my forefinger and my thumb about 1 inch apart) as compared to her, when physically I’m like what, twice her size?  She’s so passionate about what she’s doing that I’m left asking myself, “What the hell are YOU doing?”.

Sure, I had the experience of being in a moot.  But it was involuntary(for the heck of showing off and making myself feel about that much taller, got a first out of it).  But still, Mimi’s doing it out of passion and interest.  Reading about her internship is like reading a Marian Keyes’.  Hell, she made it sound interesting, dagnamit.  Reading about her staying up until 2 am makes me feel like staying up until 2 am.  She made exam preparations sound appealing, for God’s sake! 

I asked Foy, “Does that make me stupid?”

Obviously(coz he loves me and didn’t want to upset me at 12 midnight), he said no.  He said I haven’t found my passion, yet.  What hit me like nothing has ever hit me before was when he said, “Successful people are always passionate about what they are doing.”

Gullppp, I’m nowhere near success then.  I haven’t even found what I’m passionate about.  Let alone work on it.  Grreattt.

Perspective, Jid.  Perspective.  In your case, it has to be a positive outlook.    Let’s turn this around then.  That means I have to be passionate about my LLB since I haven’t found anything else to be passionate about.  God knows that’s going to be hard.  But success does not come easy, yes?

Mimi, I hope I haven’t scared u there with my revering of u.  You’re inspirational and that’s something to be really proud of. 

I’m done.  That feeling is out of the window. 


The meaning of liberation

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 10:21 pm

You won’t understand how liberating it is to have the option of leaving an event that u’re not enjoying, unless u’ve been to the isoc cruise that I went on yesterday.  It was only 5 minutes after I boarded the ship/boat that I realised that there was no way out, unless I was willing to swim ashore in the freezing cold water (as much as i love the sport, no thanks).  To actually be in a situation where saying “Let’s go home” actually makes u feel like crying, coz u actually CANNOT, is a very, very horrible feeling.  It was worse than having teeth pulled out.  Note to self:  Next time, make sure that there’ll be good food, an accesible way out, and that u’d actually know at least half of those who are there.  Oh yes, make sure that the host is not the kind who’d just scream away her instructions(instructions at a supposed eid party, wth?) in a hyena-pitched voice.  Oih, satu penyeksaan sungguh pengalaman semalam.  Thanks Sher for keeping me sane throughout the whole evening. 

But I’m so glad that the rest of my weekend made up for that horrible night.  It was so nice to see friends whom I haven’t seen for so long.  You all know who you are.  Love u all very, very much!  Let’s start missing each other again so that the next time we meet will be just as wonderful.  Haha. 

Sha n Natte, thank you very much for being such lovely hosts!  Even cleaning up after everyone’s left was fun.  Don’t u think?

Right, time to get back into gear.  I really need to step up my effort on my academic pursuits.  Or else…  Aihh, don’t want to even think about it!



Hmmmm October 25, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 8:48 pm

I WANT A NEW PHONE!!!!!!! But I don’t have a valid reason as to why I should buy a new phone.  I don’t NEED a new phone.  I just WANT one.   I’m not saying I want something to happen to my pink razr so that I could get a new one.  No, no.  I just want the thrills of trying out new things on a new phone.  And showing it off to my friends.  And admiring it at night before I go to sleep. 

Hmmm, I’m going somewhere here.  It just popped into my head that this desire I have explains  men’s velleity to have a new wife, or a new girlfriend.  Why are they always inclined towards the idea of having more than just a woman in their lives?

Simple.  They like the idea of having the chance to try out new and different things on a new, different partner.  As Ross uncunningly(read: dickheadedly) put it, “She’s different.”  They too like the idea of showing off a different, new partner to their friends.  And of course, the idea of admiring someone new and different before they go to bed.  Ugggghhhhh!

It’s not like they NEED a new wife or a new girlfriend.  They only WANT one.  They are not saying that they want something to happen to their current wife or girlfriend.  No, no.  They just want the abovementioned.  Ugggghhhh!

So, there.  I don’t WANT  a new phone.  I don’t NEED a new phone.  I’m gonna stick with my lovely pink razr until she can’t function anymore, which is not going to be that difficult considering the rate I’m going with my clumsiness.  If I can come to this conclusion of suppressing my own desire (within 10 minutes of typing crap) to just stick with this phone that I love, which is incapable of having any emotions whatsoever, why is it that some men can’t do the same thing to the women that they love?  It’s bizarre!

p/s: the words ‘men’ and ‘women’ are of course interchangeable to suit however you wish to read it. 


My crying partner October 18, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 10:50 pm

To a very special person whose presence and thoughtfulness never fail to make me(and i’m sure many others too!) feel happy, warm, and all snug inside out.  You’re just amazing, Sarah Wiseman!  HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, my sweet!  I love you lots & lots and I’m very thankful to have met and known u all this while.  Hope this friendship will carry on even when we’re continents apart(well, u’ve shown that if we were to lose contact at some point the fault won’t be on you).  Thank you for being you and I hope your 21st is one to remember! 


Much love from me,

Your Jiddy. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


For those above 18 only October 16, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 7:47 pm

We were on our way to Kent from Oxford that  we started talking about the kookiest names we’ve ever heard given to people.  If u’ve seen VH1 on celebrity’s child’s name, u’d know how crazy people can get when it comes to naming their children.  On top of our list were Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee’s son), Jermajesty (Jermaine’s son), and Tu-morrow (can’t remember who’s daughter it is).  Comedians in that show started making jokes out of their names.  One of my favourite ones was, “How are u going to expect your kid to do house chores when his name has got a ‘majesty’ at the back of it?  “Jermajesty, would you come here and sweep the floor?”  You think the kid’s going to do it?”.  Haha.  What happened to uncomplicated, simple, lovely names like Amy or John? 

It was then that Ica started our own version of VH1 show. 

Ica: Kawan mak Ica ada sorang ni nama dia Wan Sum Kok. (‘O’ to be pronounced as ‘aw’, not ‘oh’)

All of us in the car: What????

And she gave us this hypothetical scenario where the teacher is doing the roll call.  Register in hand, the teacher looks up.

“Wan Sum Kok?”

Kid puts up hand, ” Yes!”

Aiyayaiyayai.  Porn at school, I tell you.  Imagine u’re walking in a shopping complex and you recognise this guy that u were friends with in school.  Excited and all confident u go up to this guy and asks, “Wan Sum Kok?”.  The guy turns around.  He’s in fact NOT WSK.   “Errrr, no thanks!” HAahahahahahahhaa.

Then Amal started telling us about the names that came out during MMU’s induction week.  They were sitting in a circle during ice breaking session.  It was this guy’s turn to tell his name to his group. 

3K: Aa, nama saya Kong Ket Kuat

*suppressed laughter in the group*

Mean Facilitator: Apa dia???

3K(with more conviction this time): Kong Ket Kuat!

For all we know, that poor kid’s name could’ve been Ong Kit Kuat.  Makes more sense, right?  hehe. 

Then there was another guy from the same group.

TTY: Nama saya Tong Tai Yik.  (According to Amal, this guy had said it in a very ‘pasrah’ way.  Like he knew what was gonna come after that) 

Mean, mean! Facilitator: So, nak panggil Tong ke Tai Yik

The house practically shook cause everybody laughed so hard. (conversation continued till we were in the house.) 

Probably WSK is the father of KKK and/or TTY.  He felt that it was so unfair for him to be named as such that he took it out on his sons.  Aisehh.  

That joke amongst many was one of the highlights of our trip to Oxford and Kent.  My absolute favourite thing was cruising through the countryside.  It was the best feeling of euphoria that I’ve had in a while .  Second, Kent!!!  It’s such a lovely place y’all.  This i’m saying without having seen the castles in Dover and such.  And of course, without the brilliant company that I had, the trip wouldn’t have been half as fun!  To the super, uber fun hosts (Atok n Ifham), THANK YOU!  (They are probably not reading this thingamajig, but just in case you two come across this page, thanks! 😉 )

Did I tell u that FOURDSLRs entah ape benda mak R were with us during the whole trip?  Naturally, the girls were camwhoring all the while in Oxford and Kent.  For photos, go to (but I don’t think they’ll be up just yet).       

Right, enough for now.  Have to go sort out my shopping that I did in Ashford now.  Oh, I forgot that important bit now, didn’t I?.  Another euphoric moment:  Sunday at Designer Outlet in Ashford.  Bliss y’all! Shopping raya, kasi la chan.  Heh.



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Filed under: Uncategorized — jido @ 10:26 pm

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Kids say the darnest things October 10, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 9:55 pm

“Acu, girl punya cipopop panggil apa?”


“Hmmm, boy punya?”


“Hihihihihihihihi.  Tweeeet tweet tweet tweet tweeeeet.”


Phat, not fat October 8, 2006

Filed under: Life oh life! — jido @ 10:40 pm

PMS to me now means post-menstrual syndrome.  I hate, I hate, I hate.  And to those men out there who think that we women are just making this up, you are wrong.  You don’t have uteruses, therefore u don’t have a say in this.  Understand?

What i would usually accept and participate as playful banter among friends has left me feeling hurt and dejected.  Yes, I am the sensitive type but I’ve tolerated jokes about me being chubby for ages already.  They’re getting old, peeps.  Really.  After having lost 10 kilos, I don’t think they apply anymore, ok?  Some say, that’s why people keep teasing me.  Because the jokes aren’t true anymore.  Whatever, I don’t like it. Period. 

Sherot thinks I’m ovulating and therefore I should be, to put it as nicely as possible, feeling rather lustful.  How I wish that was true.  Anyone would prefer horny to angry, no?