my sanctuary

my thoughts for my own reflection.

“I want oneeeee!” October 13, 2008

Filed under: 71366 — jido @ 9:05 pm

My maternal instinct screams that everytime I see a baby or a kid that is below 3 years old it’s driving me crazy already. Because frankly i know, neither me or hubs are ready for it. My mum KNOWS i’m not ready for it. During raya in Muar, poor hubster had to wear the same baju raya twice because I only brought the baju of his third baju raya, while the seluar sat nicely in the closet of our bedroom in KL.

‘Macam mana nak ada anak, seluar raya laki awak pon boleh tertinggal.’

Yes, mum.

I know I’m still too selfish to let my sleep be disrupted by a crying baby. I know I still love my weekend mornings too much to wake up extra early to feed and bathe a baby. I know I still curse a tad too much to be a mother (i take conscious efforts to stop cursing on the road nowadays – just in case, lol). i know i still love Foy too much to share him with another attention seeking creature like me.  And i know he too feels all of the above.

So, I guess I’ll just make do with the occasional cuddles i get from my baby nephew and niece, for now. So there, internal self conflict settled. Toodles!